Don't Tell

WorkMatters Tips
Issue #3 -September 12, 2006
Publisher:Gayle Lantz
http://www.GayleLantz.com
WorkMatters®
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A quick tip to help leaders and executives who need to motivate their teams and themselves, and catapult their business. 

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Don't Tell

If you're trying to get other people to do their job, stop"telling" them what to do. It may sound counterintuitive, but you can best help a person do his job without directing him every step of the way. 

If I'm driving to a new location, I like having someone sitting next to me to tell me when to turn left, how many miles to go and what exit to take. But then I can become dependent on that person. I don't really learn how to get where I want to go on my own. 

If you're like many of the executives I coach, you may be giving too many instructions and not allowing others to build their own capability. It's hard not to tell others how to do something, especially when you're good at it, or sometimes, even when you're not. 

I've never seen a kids soccer game without parents yelling instructions from the sidelines. Our daughter's soccer coach wants the parents to stop directing the girls, despite our well intended advice, so the girls can learn to think for themselves. It's an interesting dynamic. 

Here are some alternatives to try when you think you just can't stop yourself from telling (or yelling).

1. Show them what you want them to do.
For example, if you're managing sales people who have to make cold calls, they probably know all the steps to follow. But if you can show them how to do it, the learning sticks. They have an experiential model to follow. Let them see you, or someone, making actual calls. Even if they have observed calls as part of initial training, they need to see it throughout their career. Seeing successful people in action, at any phase of a person's career, is a great way to learn and build skills. 

2. Ask good questions.
If you're working with other people who handle customer issues, it's easy to say,"Here's what you should do when a customer complains..." However, try asking the employee for ideas. Then listen to their answers without judgement. Here are some questions you might try:

* What do you think would be the appropriate response?

* When have you seen someone handle that kind of situation well?

* How might you respond most effectively?

* What is something exceptional you might try?

 3. Collaborate.
 An attorney tells his assistant all the things she needs to do to help him manage his clients. She's got all the necessary pieces -- the files, paperwork, schedules, client names, etc., but for some reason, she's not doing what needs to be done. No amount of telling or "re-telling" gets the assistant to perform any better. Instead, the attorney should try a different approach -- ask for a meeting to determine how they can best work together. Sound radical? Request a one-on-one meeting, a simple informal collaboration, to solve the problem. He needs her ideas, perspective and suggestions. Two heads are better than one. 

So, instead of giving all the answers, help people think. They may surprise you with even better ideas. They will assume more responsibility on their own, and build their capability, which is what you want as a manager. 

If you have questions or topics you'd like to see addressed in future issues, mailto:gayle@gaylelantz.com?subject=Topics 

P.S. Want to work on your own coaching skills? Visit http://gaylelantz.com/individuals/index.htm
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ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

Manager, interviewing a job applicant: "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage."
Job Applicant: "Well Sir, the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing!"
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Reprinted from "WorkMatters Tips," a free ezine produced by Gayle Lantz featuring tips for leaders and executives who want to motivate their teams and themselves, and catapult their business. Subscribe at http://www.GayleLantz.com/signup

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